Final Summary/Reaction

I found it so interesting to see what people thought about divorce.  I couldn't believe the amount of people who had at least one divorced relative in their family; the majority of the people who I surveyed had at least one divorce in their family.  My predictions were surprisingly accurate. Most of the people I surveyed agreed that the media has had an impact on the increased divorce rates; for the people whose parents are divorced, the oldest age was 13 when their parents got one; and for who they live with, it was someone split.  I really enjoyed conducting this survey. I received a lot of great insights and perspectives from a lot of different people. I was especially interested in reading why people think the divorce rate is increasing and the  surveys of the people's whose parents are divorced.  I really like the results that I got from both my surveys; I think they were a success.

Revised Summary/Plan/Update

My survey was a success! I made 2 different surveys (one for a general view on divorce of people whose parents aren't divorced and one for people whose parents are divorced).  I surveyed 17 people whose parents aren't divorced and 10 people whose parents are divorced (I hope to get a few more of each though to get more results). Within those 27 people, only 2 of them were males (my brothers); the rest were classmates. I would like to get a couple of adults' opinions as well within the next few days. I think the survey worked for the most part.  However, I think my free-response question for why they think more and more couples are getting divorced was difficult for some to answer so my results weren't that great for that question.  For instance, two people said “because people are stupid” for that question. I was a little mad with some of the people that took it because they didn't take it seriously enough.  Nevertheless, after putting all of my results in a chart, I gathered a lot of really interesting information.  I’m excited to get more surveys and calculate the different percentages to put all the information together.

Strategy/Plan for Research

Participants:

I plan to ask students from school, teens whose parents are divorced, and even some adults.  I would like to ask people between the ages of 15-50.  I would I to make 2 different surveys: one for people whose parents are divorced and one for anyone.  Because I will be asking some classmates, the survey will be given to mostly females.  However, I would like to get some male perspectives as well.  In my family alone, my parents are divorced and my aunt has been divorced twice.  I'm kind of on the fence about asking my relatives to take the survey, but I may get some interesting information from my aunt, parents, and even my brothers (possibly).  I am also debating about whether or not I should ask complete strangers.  The results may be more interesting, but it'd be weird to be handing out surveys in public places.

Method and Data Collection:

I would like to have a hard copy of my survey because I would like to hand it out myself.  However, because I don't want to go all over creation to administer the survey, it may be easier for my to create a Google doc or email the document to people.  I feel like administering it only through a hard copy will limit who I give the survey to because I'm not going to travel to many places to give out the survey.

Predictions:

I predict that most of the teenagers I ask will have parents who are still married, but I definitely think that  close to half of them will have divorced parents.  I also predict that people will agree that the media is helping in the increase of divorces.  For the teens whose parents are divorced, I feel that most were at a young age when their parents divorced.  For who they live with, I feel like it will be pretty split.

My Research Method

For my research method, I would like to conduct a survey to assess people's thoughts on divorce. For this project, I would really like to focus on people's thoughts about divorce: why they think the divorce rate has gone up; if they think the media has something to do with the increased rates; etc.  I would also like to get some perspectives from kids/teenagers whose parents are divorced; how old they were when their parents got a divorce; who they live with; how often do they see their other parent; how they felt at first about the divorce; how they feel now; etc.  I think the survey is the best method to use for my topic because I can get many different views and create my own statistics about divorced families in our community.

The Divorcer

In the T.V. show Friends, one guy in the group, Ross, has gotten divorced three times! Throughout the series, everyone makes jokes about how he's that "divorce guy" or "the divorcer" (the name Ross would rather be called). The video above is just one of the many moments where his friends make fun of him as the guy who gets a million divorces.  This series ran from 1994-2004, years where the divorce rate was over 4.0 and being acknowledged more on television. This scene, in particular, is a great example about how people are starting to think of divorce as a no-big-deal thing. They get married and then get divorced for whatever reasons and not really care about it.  Everyone on the show making jokes about it shows society that it's a "funny" or not important thing to do.  In another episode, Ross says "If you're going to call me a name, make it Ross, the divorcer,"  By this, Ross is making it a no-big-deal thing as well.

I think it's absolutely crazy how divorce is becoming such a nonchalant thing to do nowadays. Divorce is becoming just as common as marriage.  WHY is this? Because of the media. There are so many movies and series about divorce (portraying it as not a big thing). We also see so many celebrities get married and then divorced a week later, and people on TV shows, like on Friends, making jokes about it or doing the same exact thing.  By portraying this "not-a-big-deal" attitude about divorce in these ways, the message is clear to viewers and they develop the same attitude toward divorce.

The Statistics

I came across this one website, 10 Shocking Statistics about Children and Divorce, and it gave a lot of interesting information about children and divorce in general and the effects divorce has on children.  Before the statistics, the author of this page said something that I totally agree with, "These days most people accept divorce as a way of life, completely unaware of the damage they are doing to their children."  She then got into the facts.  Some startling statistics that I came across were that of all children born to married parents this year, 50% will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday; half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage; compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems and children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes.

The statistics that I listed above were the ones that I thought were the most shocking.  This post on the website was posted in 2006, about 7 years ago.  I can only imagine that the percentages are higher now than back then.  Like the author said, people are being more and more accepting of divorce; it's becoming a way of life.  It certainly is becoming a way of life, especially in 2013.  TV shows are beginning to revolve around divorced couples and celebrities get married and get divorced every other day.  From the media as a major source of shaping society, how can't divorce become a "way of life"?  The most shocking statistic was that compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems.  That's crazy!  The only way I can see this as true is if the child wasn't close to the person who died.  I find it so hard to believe that children form more psychological problems from their parents being divorced than by a death in the family.  Maybe if the child is young the death wouldn't have as much of an impact on them?  I find it mind-boggling.

I would highly recommend that you read the rest of the statistics.  Some of them I can understand, but others I was totally surprised with.  What statistics, from what I mentioned or from the article, do you find most startling? 

Higher Rates of Divorce For Baby Boomers

I read a very interesting article about how divorce rates are doubling for baby boomers; I read Baby boomer divorce rate doubles.  The first half of this article talks about the divorce of a couple who's been married for 37 years.  Like many couples of their time, they met in college and married young and raised two children. But, they slowly grew apart... how most divorced couple start out.

The second half of this article talks about the increase of divorces among the baby boomer generation (this is the generation born between 1946 and 1964).  Divorce rates among couples 50 years and over have doubled in the last 20 years!  In 1990, fewer than 1 in 10 people who got a divorce were 50 years of age or older.  In 2009, it was 1 in 4 people, and this figure is only going to increase.  A study showed that out of these people over 50, most were blacks, the fewest were whites, and Hispanics were in the middle.  The study also showed that most of the older adults were less educated as well.  Two factors that some identified  to be reasons for these rising rates is longer life spans and the changing marital biographies of baby boomers.    Another reason was that this generation was the first to come of age when the rapid acceleration of premarital cohabitation and divorce rates in the 1970's and 1980's.

I found this article to be pretty intriguing.  Most people that I know whose parents are divorced, and even mine, are among this generation of people.  I was surprised to see that whites were the group with the lowest rate.  I don't really know why, but I guess I just assumed that whites would have the highest rate, or at least be in the middle.  It does make sense to me that among those adults, most were less educated because back then, not many people got a really good education; some just got a high school diploma and others received the basic college degree and didn't care to go any further.  I think that this divorce rate among baby boomers will increase in the next couple of years, but then it will level off and become a constant rate.

"D Is For Divorce"

Sesame Street has finally dedicated an episode to talk about a very important subject: divorce. In this episode, Abby Cadabby, a fairy, talks about her parents divorce.  She said that when she was younger, her parents sat her down and told her that they weren't going to live in the house anymore because of "grown-up" issues.  Though they all weren't going to live in the same house together anymore, her parents told her that they still love her and everything will be okay; the reason why they're getting a divorce has nothing to do with her. Abby explains how she has two homes now and that her parents were right, everything is okay.  Abby wasn't the only character who shared an experience with divorce.  Another character, Birdy, explained that Abby wasn't the only one with divorced parents, and that there are many people around them whose parents are divorced and you wouldn't even know it. This episode also shows the experiences of actual children whose parents got a divorce.  In this episode, there were two songs that explained two aspects of divorce: one was about how a child has two homes instead of one after a divorce, and the other was about all of the emotions that are bottled up in a child during and after the divorce.

I was so shocked when I saw this video. I had no clue Sesame Street talked about these kind of subjects. When i was younger, all I remember Sesame Street being about was numbers, the alphabet, and Elmo's World (I guess you can tell how long it's been since I watched Sesame Street). I'm glad that this program has expanded the lessons they teach children.  Unfortunately, divorce is becoming more and more common, and children don't know what it is until they're older or even until their parents get a divorce. I think that children should become more educated on this topic because it is becoming more common and they should have the basic knowledge of what it is. I watched some clips from the episode and I think that Sesame Street did an excellent job in describing divorce; I think it definitely educates those who know nothing about it and it will sooth those who are going through it.  I was reading the comments on one video and the majority of them were from parents who were thanking Sesame Street for putting this in the show. One mother wrote about how watching the video clips with her son really calmed him down after she told him that her and his dad were getting a divorce. I really believe that this episode will help the younger generations in society cope with divorce. This episode truly teaches them that divorce isn't necessarily something to be upset about, and if you are upset or angry there is always someone that you can talk to.

What do you think about Sesame Street (or any kid's show) touching upon this topic?

"No offense, Mom, but this arrangement really sucks"

What is one movie that pops into your head when you think of divorce? The Parent Trap. Annie and Hallie are twins who were separated as babies because their parents got a divorce; they didn't even know the other existed until one summer at camp (11 year later!). After they realize they're sisters, Hallie thinks of the idea to switch places so she can meet their mom and so Annie can meet their dad (something both of them have dreamed about doing for such a long time). The other part of the plan is to bring their parents back together so they can be one, complete family. There is one major obstacle, however: their dad is going to get remarried! 

I think that this movie is a great example of how children are affected by divorce. In this example, in particular, it demonstrates how so many children just want to have the completeness and wholeness of being an intact family. Annie and Hallie never remember being a full family because they were babies when their parents got a divorce. I think that Annie and Hallie being separated not only from each other but from their mom and/or dad as well is terrible. How can a parent live with not seeing one of their own children? How can a parent think that their child never meeting his/her mom or dad is good for them? In this movie, it just made the girls' hunger for family stronger because they want to know what it even feels like to be a family and they want to meet the parent they've never met. Another thing a child of divorce has to go through sometimes is when one of their parents is getting remarried. This can be hard on the child due to the fact that they don't want to have a step mom or dad because it's like they're other parent is being replaced.

This movie is such a classic. The Parent Trap illustrates three essential facts about divorce: it captures the yearning felt by some children of divorce for their parents to get back together, the lack of sensitivity some divorced parents have concerning the impact of divorce on their children, and the way most children feel if their parent is remarrying.

Marriage Contracts?

I read an article on the New York Times website called "Till Death, or 20 Years, Do Us Part."  The article was about whether or not a couple, who wants to get married, should make a 20 year marriage contract that limits their marriage to a certain amount of years and then call it quits.  The author, Matt Richtel, explains why people are getting divorced in a few simple reasons: we, Americans, are living longer, we are less inclined to the religious aspect of marriage, and technology makes it very easy for a spouse to cheat.  Because divorce is so high in the U.S., Richtel wanted various professionals' views about marriage contracts and if couples should start making deadlines for their marriages.  A divorce lawyer said that through his experience, he has seen many divorces result from  the couple becoming parents, focusing on the kids, their work, then they soon grow apart, and they can't find each other after that.  The divorce isn't only tough on the couple, but also on the child; it can devastate them and ruin the child for life. The lawyer believes that the contract wouldn't change the post-divorce emotions a child feels unless it created a "cultural sense that divorce is part of life." If divorce was part of the culture, it wouldn't necessarily take as big of a toll on the child. Another professional stated that a contract wouldn't form happier marriages. She suggested that every 5 years, a married couple should redo their vows to reflect on what they have learned through the times when their marriage was most vulnerable. A professor of sociology shared her thoughts on the contract.  She doesn't think a contract would help, rather, she thinks that people should get rid of all of the craziness and hype that people put on weddings because that's what the couple likes and build their wants to get married on: a fantasy world.

This article kind of made me laugh at points: why would a couple put a limit on their marriage? To me, that's saying that you know that the marriage is going to fail... so why get married if you think it's not going to last? Though I didn't agree with the author's idea of how to fix marriages, I did like what some of the professionals had to say.  For example, I thought that what the lawyer said about divorce being apart of the culture was interesting. I never really thought about that detail. What if divorce was part of the culture? Would divorce have less of an effect on children if it was a "social norm" for parents to get divorced? Thankfully, my parents divorce wasn't very rough on me because I was so young, but I was still upset about it.  I think that if divorce was part of our culture at that time, I still would have been upset about the divorce because my family was not a whole. Maybe if it actually was a norm back then I would feel differently about it now and think it's no big deal. I was really glad I came across this article because it put ideas into my head about how divorce can be prevented and if any of the ideas would actually work.

Why I chose Marriage and Family: Divorced

I chose to blog about Marriage and Family: Divorced because my parents are actually divorced.  When I saw this topic on the list, I was excited because I can relate to it.  I feel like divorce is becoming a bigger and bigger issue in society and I'm interested to find out more about it.